"SOS"

I shot an SOS signal
into the sky
because I wanted
a rescue.

The signal beamed
with bright lights
and reminded me of fireworks.

I thought about why
such a beautiful scene
was held by the hands
of a miserable thought.

But it was,
and it just was.
Like me—
I was.

I shot an SOS signal
towards where home would be,
thinking someone could
come and save
     me.

But the SOS signal failed
and all I heard was an applause.
People were clapping
for the display,
even though
I was dying.

I couldn't survive anymore
on this planet,
yet no one seemed
to want to take me home.

No one wanted
to take me back home.

--; February 1st, 2014

I remember feeling helpless and alone when I wrote this poem. I felt like no matter how many times I'd scream, no one would hear me. People wouldn't pay attention and I was definitely alone--left alone to feel like this. Although I know it's not true and that I have people who love and cherish me, I couldn't help feeling that way when I was so distraught.
It felt like I was more distraught than anything else lately. I couldn't do anything how I felt, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. For the first time in my life, I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. I was so lost, and to be honest, I still probably am even though I don't feel it as much right now.