"And, Yet"

More than today
and more than yesterday
—though I know
    nothing of tomorrow—
I learn more
and understand more
of the world.

And more than ever,
I feel my patience
run dryer
      than desert rivers
because
it is
so
unbelievable
                   to me.
                   Really.

And more than I can remember,
I feel disappointment
  accompany the blood
  in my veins
as bits of resentment
     pile up
     in my
     head.

Yet, more than today
and most definitely
more than yesterday
—even if I can't
    tell the stories of tomorrow—
I feel for the
  world and all
  its people
more than I
feel for myself.

Because where my
patience runs dry,
a downpour of
understanding
drenches my soul.

Because where my
disappointment
flows, my heart
pumps out
visions
of hope
and possibility.


--; April 9th, 2014

I guess I was just disappointed because of everything I was realizing...I don't really know. Period four on the 9th was a weird day.

"The Role of God"

Hello little angel,
come this way.
I have a man
who has killed,
but still
he should be saved.

Hello little devil,
come with me.
There's this boy
who's too pure
for anything
but tragedy.

Hey little cherub,
can you hear my thoughts?
I'd really like it
should these
two
fall in love.

Hey little reaper,
can you listen for a bit?
In my heart is
a person
who is
way past his prime.


--; April 9th, 2014

I wrote this because the thought of redemption was stuck in my head—mostly thanks to Dengeki Daisy (check it out; it's an awesome manga)—and I like believing in the idea that God is as unbiased as he can be when it comes to creating destinies for people.

"Far Too Long"

he held my hand
and gripped it
tight
as he placed
it over his cheek
to caress.
he said,
he said,
"it'll be okay"

So I held
his body
close to mine
as my fingers
ran through
his hair.
I said,
I said,
"it is okay."

his body shook
and his mind
collapsed
as I spoke
and I spoke,
saying again
and again,
holding his heart
to mine,
"it is enough
and
so are you."


--; April 09th, 2014

I wrote this for Traine who seems to have a problem with being honest. Because I know his feelings and I wish I could do more for him.

"Silent Symphonies"

I could hear them
as they
             kicked up their
                       heels.
             as they
                         got ready to
                                walk
                                and
                                leave.

I could hear my heart
            b          g
              e      n
                a  i
                  t
a
  pulse,
like it was nothing
But it wasn't
nothing.
It wasn't
a triangle playing
   a soft sound.
It was
and only was
a drum
p
  o
    u
      n
        d
           i
            n
              g
in my body.

I could hear all those
         *voices*
that kept saying
         e
       enough
     enough
     you are not enough
         g
         h
And the way
the drumming
      became
                     LOUDER
and the footsteps
        q
          u
            i
             e
               t
                e
                  r
until all I was left with
were
melodies
painting
melancholies
in
   my
        still—yet beating—
              heart.

--; April 09th, 2014

I wrote this while remembering a lot of the feelings I used to have when my depression was extremely bad.
I'm becoming more artistic with my poetry. Lol. Look, no more squares/rectangles~

I know I've been owing you guys a lot, so here's the latest and my queue will be officially coming back up :)

040514: Updates~

So, I just thought I'd share with you guys something that I drew. I haven't worked on poetry as much, but I have been writing. I will be queuing up my poems for the regular daily updates and post whatever complete short stories I have. Now that TPPC is complete, I will finally post up the full story and move onto TPPE. :) Thanks for being patient with me~